Ava was a burst of citrus in the morning-effervescent. She enjoyed singing the melody her mom cooed to her as a child…esh la crea pinn sa libvish no na. She sang this in times of stress to soothe her soul. Her dream was to make it big as a model. Her luminescent smile enticed everyone who’s anyone in her direction, so it wasn’t a surprise that she was discovered walking down the street lugging groceries home.

A well dressed agent stuffed his card into her jacket pocket and urged her to give him a call is she was truly serious about modeling. It wasn’t long when she began attending open calls. Never before had Ava taken issue with her body until those raptors began picking her apart little by little. They told her she was beautiful but she needed to color and cut her drab hair, she was beautiful but she should invest in straightening her crooked front teeth because after all, models needed that perfect smile. Ava was beautiful but she needed to lose weight here and there, her thighs were too big as was her nose.

Taking her budding career seriously, she worked out seven days a week for three hours a day, she restricted her calories to a measly five hundred and flooded her body with bottled water. She returned to those same raptors and received high praise. They booked her for various photo shoots and finally after three years of sacrifice, she’d gotten to where she dreamed she’d be, on the runway in Paris.

Before she was set to walk, she began singing that familiar melody her mother sang to her..esh la crea pinn sa libvish no na. She chanted this repeatedly to soothe her taut nerves. It was time, bright light blasted her body, washing her white. How elated she was, swinging her pelvis from left to right, stomping with pride as her bones rattled. Posing and smiling…then the show was over. Did anyone hear her song as life happened before her very eyes?

Riding back to her elegant hotel, she replayed the events of that night and smiled until she passed a full length mirror adjacent from her king sized bed. Moving closer to the mirror, she touched her face and felt the weight of her sweat pants sit on her hips. Undressing, what reflected back at her made her eyes widened in horror. She hadn’t recognized her body as her own. When had this happened, she mumbled to herself. Her eyes rolled around in their deep sockets, her once voluptuous breasts, hips and thighs were non-existent, her ribs were showing and her pelvis was jutting out like craggy rocks that’d been eroded by continuous violent rainstorms.

Ava had gotten the opportunity to realize her dream. It’s what she wanted right? The sacrifice was worth it right? Losing herself to the mantra of the industry had been worth it right?


©privatethoughtsmadepublic. 2016.


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