Journal Entry #…Heck if I Remember

Sometimes I get the urge to journal, and now is one of those time. I’ll be brief. Beauty is the center of our lives. Who doesn’t like something beautiful to catch his or her eyes? My problem is that there’s too much excess, too many masks, too much hiding. Maybe it’s because I’ve grown older…nah, as far as I know, I’ve always leaned this way, but what arrests my vision isn’t what alters our faces or identity. I find beauty in a strangers slightly crooked front teeth, or a specific way a person walks, sometimes it’s just that a person doesn’t fit the social norm that’s refreshing. Society is so concerned with the outer appearance that they forget or avoid work on the inside. I find beauty in honesty, and fear and uncertainty. We don’t always have the answers, and that makes us human. Somewhere along the way someone lied to us lamenting we all need to have our lives mapped out. It’s never worked that way with me. Beauty is admitting that we just don’t know.

Have you, reader, ever thought that God loves beauty just as much as we do? He loves it so much so that he created us (and by now He’s had many a millenia to regret it), and the multitude of animals, flowers of many genus type, the trees that at the perfect time of year bring forth all the many colors that sway on branches. It’s mind-blowing when I watch nature doing it’s thing. I also realize I’m small in this world when I look up at the sky, there’s no greater sense of humility than that. What I find that makes me agitated is when I try to communicate with someone, they feel the need to put on as if they are better (Christians) or they are above reproach (Professors) or just the fact they have a few decades on me (the elderly). Somehow, I’m not good enough in their sight, or my opinion doesn’t matter when actuality, it does. I don’t extend a hand to titles, I extend my hand to humans. That’s what you’re graded on, your humanness and character.

It we manage to stop being pretentious pricks, maybe we could get along and meet on common ground. It’s a shame that when we err in life, we’re condemned for it. We all make mistakes and hopefully learn from them so we can tell the person behind us not to waste time making the same mistakes we did. Isn’t that being our brother’s keeper? The concept of true beauty isn’t all that difficult to display with a little practice….okay a lot of practice for some on you all. I sometimes feel I can’t talk to anyone because they feign innocence in everything that they do. It’s sad really.  My approach to people is to help bring down their walls, I’m the last person who wants to abuse someone’s trust. It takes too much to get some people to open up in the first place.

Beauty comes from the inside and shines outward, yeah I know, it’s cheesy but it’s true. I’m a witness to the cheesy quote. And quite honestly, I’m beyond bored with what I see around me.



11 thoughts on “Journal Entry #…Heck if I Remember

      • Trust me I really know what you mean. People say that i always look mad instead of just asking me how do i feel or how is my day or just anything positive to ask me. but i just tell them i look like this to keep away liars and demons and people who are just miserable and there only goal in life is to bring everyone down. and you cant be bored when you still have life in you Angie. Do you like movies watch a movie or something. lol…


      • You get that too?! When I meant I was bored, I meant I’m bored with the same ole same ole. Every blue moon I cross paths with people who are a breath of fresh air. I like being around people like that. I’m friends with a man who happened to be my professor at one time. He’s so far out of the box that I just love being around him listening to his stories and life experience. He definitely walks to his own drum. I enjoy peeling back the layers of who he is. I’m always happy to see or hear from him..even in his grumpy times.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Ya i do.. but now people just don’t say anything. And i get you… the same ole same ole becomes a rerun of life some times. I get it…. And that’s cool that your professor is a friend i bet you learn a lot from him as well. win win!


      • I love being a loner. but when to loners meet sometimes this will be the beginning of a new beginning. Its good that you pursued him because he would have probably said nothing to you. Well not because he didn’t want to but i just know being a loner and a man the way i can come off is like i’m stuck up or something but i’m actually just shy and my mind is focused on other things besides friendship and stuff.


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