By Design (7)

A First Time For Everything

She awoke to blessed silence in her bedroom. Staring up at the stucco ceiling, she recalled of what she saw of the cottage, she liked. It looked and felt very rustic, simple. Kicking back the sheets, her feet hit cold floorboards sending a chill up the length of her spine. Rifling through her bag, she pulled out a vibrant red, green and yellow Kente mud cloth head wrap, a white maxi dress and undergarments splayed all over the bed. Traipsing through the living space, she stopped at the linen closet to fetch towels and headed into the small but quaint bathroom.

The spray of hot water beating against Taiwo’s skin was a welcomed sensation. Her skin began to heat as she replayed the sizzling disagreement she had with Connor’s mother. She’d become over passionate in her beliefs and snapped out of frustration. When pushed into a corner, when her experiences proved her right, repeatedly, she always came out swinging, lamenting her opinions. Taiwo could never accept people forcing their views upon her. Individuals had to prove themselves until she was sure she could not only trust their words, but actions as well. As much as she was entitled to her opinions, she hoped hadn’t screwed up, prompting Connor to change his mind about developing a relationship with her.

Rinsing the soap from her now supple skin, she stepped from the shower onto a rug, wrapping a white plush oversized towel around her body. Running a hand over the foggy mirror, she braided her hair into two large flat twists and exited the steamy bathroom. Silently tip toeing through the living room, Taiwo suddenly felt a pair of eyes boring through her profile. Turning, she saw Connor leaning against the door jamb.

“Why are you creeping through the house?”

“I’m not creeping, I’m tip toeing as to not disturb you.” He’d made her feel like a guilty child, caught red-handed with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Mmm hmm. Good morning. Did you rest well?”

“I can’t tell if you’re patronizing me.”

“I’m not.” He grinned.

Narrowing her eyes in suspicion a slight frown formed over her lips. “I slept just fine, thank you.”

“It’s too early to start fighting. Retract your claws, please.”

“What do you have planned for us?”

“Don’t be impatient. Just enjoy the moment. There’s no need to rush. The first thing is to get you dressed and have breakfast. So, how about you tip toe back and get dressed because if you don’t I’m afraid I’m going to have to act on my desires.” Taiwo’s cheeks burned and skin began to tingle as suggestive thoughts flooded her brain.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me.” She cleared her throat and tipped away with her head held high. He watched her glide away coolly but he knew she was on fire underneath the façade she defiantly fixed in place. He started breakfast and would show her around Belfast soon after to a few spots he loved visiting as he grew into an independent man.

Securing her head wrap, she fiddled making sure it was tight enough then stood in front of the window to check to see if her dress was showing parts she wanted hidden. There was nothing worse than secretly putting on an oblivious show to passersby. Satisfied, slowly calming her heart rate to a steady beat, she started for the door and rested her hand around the knob. Taiwo shouldn’t have felt embarrassed, they were only having breakfast and she had no intention of letting Connor have his way with her, at least, not yet. Placing one foot in front of the other, spine erect, she found Connor at the stove finishing their peppered scrambled eggs. She watched him plate up breakfast and fill her glass with orange juice and his with tea.

“You’re having tea so early in the morning?”

“There’s never a wrong time of the day for tea.” he murmured as he pulled a wooden chair out and sat comfortably.

“Thanks for breakfast.”

“I hope you enjoy it.”

Connor could never find a typical Irish breakfast in the States and that loss made him yearn for home on most days. On their plates were rashers, sausage, baked beans and boxty. At the last-minute, he fried some tomatoes and mushrooms to balance out the pork. A family friend stopped by late last night citing he needed a home cooked meal after such a long time away from home. Caroline even threw in soda bread, Irish butter and apricot marmalade among other items. He and Caroline had grown up together and even dated briefly before he decided to take a risk to move to the States.

Connor knew he had hurt her but the need to explore the world was greater than staying in a comfortable bubble. As Caroline handed him two sacks of ingredients, mostly from her family farm, she held that familiar look in her eyes when she used to search for answers in his. She was still carrying a torch for him, even after all these years. Ignoring the discovery, he thanked her for her families’ generosity. Before he closed the door, she reminded him to stop by, her folks would love to catch up with him. He nodded, closed the door and stored the food away.

“I’ve never had so much pork in one sitting, nor have I had baked beans for breakfast, but I really like it. Everything is complimenting each other. Well done.”

“Thank you.”

“When did you find the time to gather these ingredients?”

“Family friend brought them over in the wee hours of the morning once it was made known I was in town.”

“That’s nice. Are you planning to stop by?”

“I’m not sure.”

“I see.”

“Eat up.”

“You told me not to rush now you’re the one who’s rushing me. Is there something you’re not telling me?”


“What is it?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not worth talking about.”

“You’re keeping secrets from me now?”

“You’re keeping some from me.” Turning her head, she opted to stare out the kitchen window briefly then planted her eyes on his blank face.

“I’m sorry.” An apology was not what he was expecting her to utter. “I don’t mean to give you such a hard time and I don’t want to keep anything from you.”

“Then be honest, tell me how you really feel about me, about us.” Silence poured from her sealed lips leaving the question unanswered. “See, you won’t open up. Finish up, we have a big day ahead of us.”

Pushing back from the table, he picked up his empty plate, rinsed it off placing it in the sink and walked back to his bedroom leaving her alone. There have been countless when she had felt low but this was one of the worst. Taiwo never let anyone including her mother witness her crying even when she was having a tough time, yet a tight lump formed like a stone in her throat. Her chest felt as if cinder blocks had been dumped on her without a care. She tried keeping her tears at bay but they dropped one-by-one onto her pile of baked beans. Mucus began traveling its way down her nose as she sniffed it back. Clamping a hand over her mouth, she was careful not to let Connor hear her muted sobs.

The more she tried containing her salty sea of tears, the faster they poured from her eyes. Her body began shaking violently and her stomach felt as if it would turn over at any minute. Inhaling deeply, she shakily placed her hands around the glass for a sip of juice and successfully sloshed puddles over the table. Taiwo hadn’t been this unstable since her father left the family for another woman. She hadn’t a clue how her family were going to make ends meet. She’d sworn to herself that not another human being would upend her life forcing her to feel vulnerable, to be out of control of her senses. But here she was, defenses quickly breaking down, betraying her, making a liar out of her! She hated herself for feeling and acting so weak; she was pitiful for not being able to muster up the strength to pull it together.

Pushing back from the table, she stood on weak legs and caught her balance on the back of the chair until she felt steady. Sauntering toward the front door, she lightly leaned against it until she could stay some of her tears. With her vision mostly clear, she opened the door and stepped out into a sun filled sky. The sun smiling down on her face made her feel worse so she lowered her head and wiped the still spilling tears from her eyes and cheeks. As she suspected, she was never going to be happy, it just wasn’t in the cards for her. She was too stubborn, too opinionated, just too much for any one person to deal with! It wasn’t anyone’s job to deal with her hang-ups, it was hers and hers alone.

Connor traveled back into the kitchen finding Taiwo gone. As he headed back to her room, a shadow from the window caught his eye. Traversing to the window, he’d just caught her walking past with her head lowered wiping her eyes. He watched her from the window as much as he could until she was no longer in his sight. Connor had a sinking feeling his earlier comments set her off, possibly hurting her feelings. Sighing, he loitered around the kitchen, his inside twisted with guilt at the thought of causing tears spill from her eyes. Though the weight of guilt settled on his shoulders, he chose to give Taiwo her space waiting for her to come back on her own.

Connor had never known any morning to be excruciating than today. Silence pressed against his eardrums constantly reminding him that he was alone. Agitation welled and swirled around in his gut. He envisioned worst-case scenarios that she’d gotten lost and couldn’t find her way back, than she’d been snatched off the street! Pulling his mind from the brink of hysteria had been exhausting yet he covered every inch of his cottage at least three times, absent-mindedly checking the refrigerator for food. He made sure his clothes were hanging in the closet, that the cottage was spotless. Connor buried his hands in his pants pocket then pulled them out irritated, ruffling his hair in sheer frustration. He’d been one step away from tearing out the cottage when she entered.

Taiwo had cried a lot but not enough to fall into delusion. Connor stood beside the couch looking like a mad man. His hair was splayed in all directions and eyes looked as if he’d seen something he wished he hadn’t; they were bulging from their sockets! His skin was flushed and lips looked like they were trembling.

“Are you alright?” asking as she cleared her sore throat.

“Do you know what time it is? You’ve been gone all day. It’s seven o’clock! Do you know how worried I was?” he threw his hands up in frustration then raked his fingers through his hair. He stalked back and forth, his eyes searing her through. “Don’t you ever do this again, do you hear me Tai?”

“I went out to clear my head.”

“Don’t clear your head on my watch!” A small impossible laugh escaped her tired, parched throat. Connor didn’t know how crazy he sounded or looked. Her faint laugh stopped him briefly. She had laughed! Laughed as he slowly unraveled waiting for to come back. It wasn’t supposed to take her this long to return. Before he could catch himself, he cut across the room, standing before her, firmly clutching her arms in his grip. “Do you think this is funny, Tai?”

“You’ve finally lost it, you know that?” she mumbled softly. “Where was I going to go, hmm?” She stared into vein streaked eyes, he into her red weary ones. Tucking her head into the hollow of his shoulder, she proclaimed that she was tired and wanted to rest. He felt his temper crawl back into its box where it belonged. Sagging against his body, he lifted her into his arms, cradling her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she apologized for her behavior.

“I had the day planned and you ruined it, you know that?” he softly whispered into her ear.

“I know.”

“You’re going to keep driving me crazy, aren’t you?”


“I love you Tai.” Connor buried his face in her now free tresses and inhaled her floral scent. Nudging his ajar bedroom door open, he walked in and kicked the door closed behind him and rested her in the middle of his bed. Rounding the bed, he snapped on the small table lamp and climbed in beside her. There they lay in the dim room facing each other. Taiwo’s eyes fluttered shut as she said the words that he longed to hear.

“I love you too. I don’t know what’s wrong with me-”

“Shh.” He covered her body with his and kissed her deeply. He kissed her like a man who’d thirsted for water far too many days and suddenly was blessed with an oasis when he was about to die from dehydration. But this oasis was no illusion, Tai was right here in under him where he’d wanted her from the beginning.

Pressing kisses down her throat, he rested his lips just above the valley of her breasts. She shuddered at the cool air stinging her body as he pulled her dress down and from under her hips. Resting on his knees, he pulled the t-shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor. Slowly inching his way back up her body, he settled himself between her legs reading her expression. Her eyes held fear. “You don’t have to be afraid Tai. I’ve got you.”

“It’s just, well…I…I’ve never done this before.” Thankfully it was too dark for him to clearly pick up on how embarrassed she was.
“I see.”

“I’m inexperienced, so I’ll understand-”

“Quiet. You don’t have to worry about a thing. Just follow my lead. Trust me?”

“Okay.” she swallowed hard not believing this was happening. Freeing her from her undergarments left her feeling exposed in more ways than she imagined. It wasn’t that she hadn’t dated or wanted a physical relationship, she was just far too afraid to go through with it, especially when sex was a constant topic on any man’s lips. Taiwo was stiff as a board and her heart was racing. She mentally chided herself for allowing herself to get caught up with him but all that melted away as he open her up, placing kisses at her most intimate part. Waves crashed over her body as her back arched giving him greater access to delve his tongue deeper into her sex. Gripping the sheets for dear life, he sucked her clit taking her higher into ecstasy. She couldn’t control her trembling body let alone form a clear thought.

Connor replaced his tongue with one finger then two and a third, stoking the embers of her liquid desire into a raging fire. A loud moan escaped her lips as she scraped her teeth over her bottom lip. He wanted to strip away all her barriers, her control leaving her helpless to his caresses. Each stroke left her writhing and mewling as her walls tighten around his fingers. He watched her slowly unravel and could have sworn she called out his name. He knew all too well the sweet torture he was guiding her through because simply inhaling her womanly scent was enough to make him lose it. He fought for his own control, he wanted to make this night one Taiwo wouldn’t soon forget, but he couldn’t fulfill his intentions if he cracked under pressure. Soon she caved in to the overwhelming explosion as multiple waves wracked her body from head to toe.

Nothing in her life had ever felt this good. She could have died in this moment, not wanting to know what the future held for her. Everything was perfect. Reveling in this newfound high, she hadn’t noticed Connor sat back on his legs unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He pushed them down his hips and kicked them off letting them fall to the floor. Bringing his face to hers, he gazed into her cloudy eyes and smiled, nothing in life could ever erase this moment they’d created. Breathing against his neck, she ran her hands through his thick chestnut-brown hair and earned a satisfied groan from his throat.

Connor kissed her cheeks, the lids of her eyes and the bridge down her nose that led to her kiss swollen lips. Slipping a hand through her legs, he guided himself at her entrance taking a moment to balance his weight. Slowly he entered and began to fill her tight walls. There hadn’t been much resistance now that she had been well prepared and relaxed. Ecstasy began to fade as she felt herself being stretched. She sucked air in between her teeth and winced at dull pain building inside her. A part of her wanted him to stop but the other wanted to see this through no matter what. She felt confusion begin to cloud her mind and Connor honed in on this immediately.

“It’s okay, just ride the waves Tai.” She nodded and quelled the storm inside her mind; she could trust Connor with her body. They lay still giving her time to adjust to his length and girth. Wrapping her legs around his waist gave him the signal to proceed, but when he didn’t she began to coax him along with kisses.

“Tai, sweetheart, please don’t move.” he added through his strained voice. She felt every muscle in his body tighten.

“What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” she began to panic.

“No it’s not you. Well it is you, but you haven’t done anything wrong. Don’t panic on me now, okay?”


When Connor was confident enough to move, he made shallow controlled thrusts. A hitch caught in her breath as embers reignited in her soul. Soon she was able to take him fully. Her nails dug into his shoulders and raked down his back as he thrust deeper. A primal groan filled the room as did her gasps for air. He took his free hand and pinned her arms over her head. She tilted her hips up and received his strategic thrusts, slow then fast. She began to thrash about, not sure how much more she could take. Just when she thought she was going to explode, he backed off pulling out mid shaft to nestle her legs on either of his shoulders.

Filling her once more, they were eye to eye. It was as if time stopped and eternity took over as he looked into her soul. His heart shattered into a million pieces as tears stung his vision. He’d once thought that nothing could ever trump the majestic beauty that Ireland held, but this woman had proved him wrong. She was everything he longed for. He had found his home in her and there was no doubt that he would never leave voluntarily. This revelation snapped him back into reality and made him even more determined to make this night a success.

While he had been lost in thought, Taiwo had locked her legs around his waist silently urged him to finish what he’d started. He buried himself deeper into her and felt her tighten around him. Their foreheads rested against one another; he gave and she received. Their final moments felt like a sprint, groaning and moaning playing on the strings of the air. Her panting was cut off by the loud cry that bubbled up from her soul. He buried his face in the pillow to muffle his final groan. Connor collapsed between the valley of her breasts gasping for fresh air. Their bodies shuddered in the aftershock of their lovemaking. They were drunk off desire and passion as a little giggle escaped through her lips.

“You still have the energy to laugh?”

“I’m just happy.”

“Good because I intend on keeping you that way.”

The next chapter can be found here, By Design (8)



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